How to be Single (For Now)

About a year ago, I was talking to a good friend about a dilemma that was weighing heavily on my heart. I felt so ready to just date someone and eventually get married but the problem was that there wasn’t anyone in my life who interested me in that way. It brought me to despair a little to think that at a ripe young age I was already destined to end up an old dog lady (sorry not sorry to all cats reading this. It’s not my fault you have claws and dogs are nicer). In all honesty, this thought was really upsetting to me because I didn’t understand why I had such a strong desire and seemingly nothing to do with it. Cue the classic “Saint Anne Saint Anne find me a man as fast as you can” prayers and St. Joseph Novenas.

My friend asked me if I had thought about praying that I can become the woman I need to be in order to best love this person when I do meet them. Of course that was a stupid question because obviously I was ready. I mean come on… I was attending daily mass and going to adoration whenever I could spare time between classes… And besides that I already knew how to cook any meal that I could google a recipe for. My life just screamed “I’m ready for him Lord”. Spiritually and mentally I thought I was there.

I didn’t understand why the Lord was allowing me to remain single. What was I doing wrong? Did I need to pray more? Was it because I wasn’t pretty enough? Was I just not called to be happy? I had no clue what the answers were to these questions but that didn’t stop me from asking myself 4,000 times a day.

I didn’t get a clear answer to any of these questions until more recently. In the year since that conversation, I have come to see why my friend asked me about becoming that person I needed to be first. Through all of my experiences since then, my heart has grown and changed, I have encountered God’s love in ways that I never expected and I have learned how unpredictable and beautiful Gods plan is for our lives. I learned that being single, for any amount of time, is also part of Gods will.

Being single isn’t a waiting period- as much as it may feel like it. It is a time to live, a time to learn, and a time to love. It is just as much a part of God’s plan for your life as being in a relationship is.

Whether we are single or not, we are called to live a life of love, sacrifice, and holiness. God knows every detail of every day that we will live….Just take a second to really breathe that in. Every second, every minute of our lives is already known by Him. There is never a need to despair or lose hope. The Lord loves you and he desires your peace and your happiness.

I was reflecting the other day on the Bible passage where the lord says to Jeremiah “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11) it brought me to understand God’s great plan for me and the presence of His love filling my life. Nothing happens to me that He doesn’t know about.

Time spent single is a blessing… use it to become someone who is able to love the Lord and listen to Him with your heart… pray that He shows you how much He loves you and how worthy you are of a very real and total love.

A verse that I often use to help myself understand his love for me is this: “Listen daughter and pay careful attention: forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord.” (Psalm 45 10-11) The Lord is literally amazed by your beauty. So go see Him.

I want to invite you to spend an extra ten minutes a day with the Lord in the upcoming weeks. Just let Him look at you (whether you go to adoration or set aside time to pray) take this time to forget all anxiety or worry that may be filling your heart and get ready for the peace that only time with the Lord can give.

Pray that you can become the person you need to be in order to better love that person that you will be called to love.

Let this time of being single turn into the start of a beautiful relationship with God, yourself, others, and eventually that beautiful person or calling that will be your vocation.

I will be praying for all of you as you approach the Lord for comfort and reassurance as you near your calling.

Rejoice and be glad because God Loves you tremendously and so do I.

1 Corinthians 13