I was eating dinner with a lovely friend of mine the other night and the topic of future spouses came up somewhere in the course of the conversation. Both of us expressed the confusion we feel about the “perfect guy”. Some people say that there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect since we are all flawed and others will say “don’t settle until you find that perfect person!” so what are we, as young women, to actually believe? I would like to propose my personal take on the issue.
I would like to start by clarifying that the imperfection of humans is not to be used as an excuse for a man treating you badly. Sure, we are all flawed because of sin but that doesn’t make us bad people. We ARE capable of self-control, kindness, love, and holiness. Look for someone who is striving for these things in his life.
Concerning Mr. Perfect, I would argue that he does exist. It may not be in the way that you think of at first so keep reading if you want to know what I mean by that. I am a firm believer that God knows us better than we could ever know ourselves… and that’s a great thing because sometimes I don’t even know myself well enough to decide what I want for lunch. That being said, He knows what makes us happy and He wants that for us. Not just like the happy we get when we see our food coming in a restaurant, but the happy we get when we know that we are where we are supposed to be.
God wants this happiness for us but He will never force anything on us. Jesus tells us “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:11)
Our Lord reveals Himself to us so that we may be filled with his complete joy. He alone knows how to give us a taste of His perfect love on this earth, why do we doubt that he knows the person who can best show this to us and help us grow in holiness better than anyone else could? He knows. He really does. We need to pray that we live our lives in such a way that we can come to love this person and accept their love in return.
Something that is very important to keep in mind is that your personal perfect person isn’t the objectively perfect person. He might be a terrible dancer, he might think that orange and pink are complimentary colors, he might not be the most romantic person in the world; but he will love you.
While he may not come out as the stereotypical Mr. Perfect prototype complete with a sports car and 5 Olympic gold medals, I do think that it will be easy to Recognize and appreciate Christ loving you through him and that will in turn enable you to grow in holiness and also be Christ to him as well.
I want to close with something I wrote in my journal when I was younger and has stuck with me ever since “If a guy doesn’t make you feel like you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to him, dump his sorry butt on the ground. God has someone in mind who will love you to the point that you will feel God loving you through them.”
I know this is a strong statement but this is what your perfect person looks like. He is the man who will love you better than anyone else could. He’s not perfect in the strict sense of the word but he is the most perfect person when it comes to helping you grow in holiness and love.
Don’t give up hope and do not doubt Gods perfect desire for your happiness. Pray for your future spouse, pray for yourself as you grow to be able to better love them. Pray for your other brothers and sisters in Christ who are looking for this love.
St Raphael, patron of the happy meetings of future spouses, Pray for us!
I am praying for you.
God loves you so much and so do I.
1 Corinthians 13