50 Shades of Authentic Love: College Women Say What They Really Want


With 50 Shades of Gray coming out this St. Valentine’s Day weekend, it may be easy to wonder what ever happened to romance. I know that it is in the human heart to desire something greater than the kind of affection that we are being shown through the media. It almost seems like we as a culture have forgotten how to show people that we are interested in them without getting overly physical and flat-out gross. I interviewed 50 college women from Mount St. Mary’s University and asked them what guys can do to make them feel loved and respected…

The results are beautiful:

  1. “Something small and spontaneous like leaving a note or a flower.” –K.E.

2.”When he notices something small… like a smile.” –M.H.

3.”Actually listen. That’s very important to me.”-S.B.

4.”Hold the door. Don’t just push the handicap button.”-K.W.

5.”Surprises. Just surprises.”-E.S.

6.”Offer your place in line to her.” K.W.

7.”Kiss her forehead”- E.R.

8.”when they hold your hand. It’s intimate without being overly-so.”-F.M.

9.”Give up your seat for her.”-E.S

10.”Respect us for who we are and not just how we look.”- J.H.

11.”When they play with your hair.”-J.H.

12.”When a guy lets you walk up to communion first.”-S.B.

13.”Just like holding the door, pulling your seat out, little stuff like that.”-K.Q.

14.”When he brings God into the relationship.”-H.R.J

15.”When they make you something.”-G.H.

16.”When they give you a compliment that’s not appearance based.”-M.O.

17.”When they complement you in a way that’s not flirtatious.”-K.Q.

18.”Ask how you can pray for her. It’s a beautiful way to build the relationship from the inside out.”-E.G.

19.”Give us a hug and listen.”-J.D.

20.”Offer me tea when I’m sick.” T.S.

21.”Give me candy on a bad day.”-H.M.

22.”Text me randomly throughout the day and invite me to hang out with your friends.”-A.W.

23.”Write me a poem or a song.”-M.S.

24.”Bring me something to feel better when I’m not feeling well.”-H.A.

25.”He called me and asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted to see him. He told me to look outside and he was standing there.”-A.K.K.

26.” When he makes dinner with me.”-M.S.

27.”Dancing with me when my favorite song comes on.”-A.K.

28.”Slow dancing.” –K.E.

29.”Go to mass together.”-M.S.

30.”When he tells you to wait for him just so he can say bye to you.”-J.C.

31.”He left a single rose outside my door when he was on his way to work.”-K.S.

32.”When he gets nervous. I think that’s really cute.”-N.C.

33.”The small stuff. Like getting my favorite candy or flowers.” –A.K.

34.”Pray with me.”-V.F.

35.”When they kiss your forehead.”-C.C.

36.”When they pray with you or write you a letter.”-R.H.

37.”When he picks you up.”-M.C.

38.”When they surprise you and visit you.”-M.R.

39.”Give me food. I know it sounds bad but I love food.”-N.R.

40.”Text me good morning or goodnight.”-M.R.

41.”Give me a hug when I need it.”-Y.F.

42.”Scavenger hunt.”-A.K.

43.”He bought me the girl version of the cologne that he wears because I like it so much.”-S.B.

44.”Handwritten notes and letters.”-A.G.

45.”When they sit down and listen to you.”-K.V.D.

46.”Telling a lame joke and then trying to make up for it. I think that’s really cute.”-R.O.

47.”Putting off spending time with friends to spend time with you.”-K.E.

48.”Takes an interest in something you’re passionate about.”-B.R.

49)”Open the car door for you.”-A.D.

50.” (From me, Rebekah) “I think it’s really cute when guys notice something that I do without thinking or facial expressions that I make. It shows me that they’re paying attention.”-R.H.

Gentlemen, take notes. This is what the girls around you want. Christian Gray doesn’t have anything on a Catholic man.

I will continue to pray for you all as you stand up to the culture and demand real Love.

God loves you so much and so do I.

1 Corinthians 13